Are You Also Alone?

I recently became a widow and have been attending grief support groups.  I picked up some good ideas that I am passing on to you.

  • Expect a sense of unreality.
  • It is common to feel as though you are merely going through the motions.
  • A balance can be achieved between reminiscing and moving on with your life.
  • Fill a box with memorabilia to share with a close friend.
  • Give yourself time to adjust to a new normal.
  • Give yourself goals that you can complete in a day.
  • Gain momentum in your daily tasks.
  • Be honest with yourself.
  • Live guilt free.
  • Do things that make you feel good about yourself.
  • Realize that you are recreating your self.
  • Think positively–expect good things to happen.
  • Focus on new experiences.
  • Do  some journaling to mark your progress.
  • Spend time with the Lord experiencing His unmerited love.
  • Reach out to others along the way.

May God bless your journey, my friend!

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone.”  Genesis 2:18

Ode to “My Man”

IMG_2024He was a man of wide interests.  From the history of art and music to geology and astronomy, he  was an avid learner.  As he neared the end however, his mind retained none of the multitude of facts and information he had acquired, but he never complained.

He loved adventure, and took his family on miles and miles of road trips through many of the states of the United States, Canada and Mexico.  Yet when, four years before his death, he was required to “turn over the keys” because he could no longer safely operate an automobile, without hesitation he complied.

His passion was guiding the education of children, and he vigorously pursued this passion throughout his more than thirty-year career in the field of education.  As counselor and principal, he gave many of the students in the elementary schools attention and encouragement.  He went beyond the call of duty as a parent, when after raising two biological children, he, at the age of sixty-two, adopted two children from Russia to lavish care and encouragement on them as well.  In the end, he became the receiver rather than a giver of care, being unable even to put on his own shoes, or buckle his belt, but he did not complain.

In his youth he was physically active, loving to climb many of the trails in Rocky Mountain National Park, and throughout his beloved mountains of Colorado.  In his old age, he needed help to rise off the sofa in his own living room.  Still no complaints issued from his mouth.

His intellect, his career, his mobility:  ultimately he lost it all.  He retained only his optimism and sweet spirit.  He has shown me how to age gracefully.  I love him both for what he was and for how he handled what he ultimately became.  I will never forget him.  He always was, is, and will always be “My Man!”

Pat Lockridge